If you were a kid in the 1990s, you might have owned this Fisher-Price castle. Even if you didn't own one, you probably saw it in Argos catalogues a hundred times.
- Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle
- Fisher Price Great Adventures Castle 1994
- Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle Game
- Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle Download
Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle is a game for children. It shares its name with the 1995 title Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle, but it is a completely different game. The premise is however identical: a kingdom is taken over by having its knights taken away. This time the villain is Vigor, a Viking, and the player is a squire who helps king Crumb to find the six knights. Description of Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle Windows. In 1995, Davidson & Associates, Inc. Publishes Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle on Windows. This adventure game is now abandonware and is set in a fantasy, licensed title, graphic adventure, comedy, medieval and puzzle elements.
- Fisher-Price, Great Adventures accessory, Castle Dragon. Push on his back fin & he flaps his wings. Great condition.
- Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle; Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle is a game for children. It shares its name with the 1995 title Great Adventures by Fisher-Price: Castle, but it is a completely different game. The premise is however identical: a kingdom is taken over by having its knights taken away.
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The key feature of this castle was that it was built to last. If a nuclear bomb was coming then the place to hide would have been inside this castle. It survived everything, including rain, snow, mud and pets. The build quality was that of a NASA spaceship.
Things it came with
A cannon
A cannon that could fire plastic balls onto your dad's head.
A catalpult
A functional catapult that could launch everything from Lego people to rocks onto your dad’s head.
Other shit
There was a trapdoor that you could throw knights down. Inevitably they would then get stuck and you'd have to call your dad to pull them out again (if he wasn’t too annoyed at you for firing rocks at his head.)
There also was a rotating wall and a drawbridge. Probably other stuff too. I wouldn't be surprised if there was also a hidden room full of gold.
The knights
The castle also came with two sets of knights: the golden knights and the baddie knights. Among the baddie knights we have:
The boss
The boss swings his hatchet when his head is pressed down. That’s how hatchets work in real-life too. I think.
The Bitch
The Bitch wields a flail and eats puppies for breakfast.
Terry the Butcher
He’s a butcher named Terry.
Dave
This one's just called Dave.
These knights had some serious fucking adventures. They saw some shit. People getting CATAPULTED ALIVE. People falling to their death from parapets. People getting hit in the face with a spiky ball on a chain by a guy named The Bitch.
But the best thing was getting all your other toys together and having an EPIC BATTLE. And what a glorious battle it was. Bards still sing about it to this day. Heroes from all over were enlisted to fight: green plastic army men, Lego mini-figures, and dinosaurs all took part. Never had a more legendary battle taken place since the war of Troy. Action Man and He-Man had to sit it out though on account of being too big.
Other sets
The castle wasn't the only set. There was also:
This funky pirate ship
It's a pirate ship.
This Robin-Hood themed treehouse
Awesome.
A western town
Rad.
An island
Comes with a palm tree that launches a rock. Of course.
A Viking boat
Let's be honest, this one looks a bit shit.
Advert and computer games
The castle had its own TV advert and computer game. That’s more than most people get. Even Ghandi didn’t get his own TV advert and computer game.
Conclusion
It's impossible to forget this castle. It's burned into our collective memory, the same way Native American Indians remember generations of racism.
Even if you've never owned the castle, or never even heard of it until just now, you'll always remember it. It will always be there, in your brain, the memory dormant but indestructible like the castle itself.
Paul Chris Jones is a writer and dad living in Girona, Spain. You can follow Paul on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.
Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle
If you were a kid in the 1990s, you might have owned this Fisher-Price castle. Even if you didn't own one, you probably saw it in Argos catalogues a hundred times.
The key feature of this castle was that it was built to last. If a nuclear bomb was coming then the place to hide would have been inside this castle. It survived everything, including rain, snow, mud and pets. The build quality was that of a NASA spaceship.
Things it came with
A cannon
A cannon that could fire plastic balls onto your dad's head.
A catalpult
A functional catapult that could launch everything from Lego people to rocks onto your dad’s head.
Other shit
There was a trapdoor that you could throw knights down. Inevitably they would then get stuck and you'd have to call your dad to pull them out again (if he wasn’t too annoyed at you for firing rocks at his head.)
There also was a rotating wall and a drawbridge. Probably other stuff too. I wouldn't be surprised if there was also a hidden room full of gold.
The knights
The castle also came with two sets of knights: the golden knights and the baddie knights. Among the baddie knights we have:
The boss
The boss swings his hatchet when his head is pressed down. That’s how hatchets work in real-life too. I think.
The Bitch
The Bitch wields a flail and eats puppies for breakfast.
Terry the Butcher
Fisher Price Great Adventures Castle 1994
He’s a butcher named Terry.
Dave
This one's just called Dave.
These knights had some serious fucking adventures. They saw some shit. People getting CATAPULTED ALIVE. People falling to their death from parapets. People getting hit in the face with a spiky ball on a chain by a guy named The Bitch.
But the best thing was getting all your other toys together and having an EPIC BATTLE. And what a glorious battle it was. Bards still sing about it to this day. Heroes from all over were enlisted to fight: green plastic army men, Lego mini-figures, and dinosaurs all took part. Never had a more legendary battle taken place since the war of Troy. Action Man and He-Man had to sit it out though on account of being too big.
Other sets
The castle wasn't the only set. There was also:
This funky pirate ship
Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle Game
It's a pirate ship.
This Robin-Hood themed treehouse
Awesome.
A western town
Rad.
An island
Comes with a palm tree that launches a rock. Of course.
A Viking boat
Let's be honest, this one looks a bit shit.
Advert and computer games
Fisher-price Great Adventures Castle Download
The castle had its own TV advert and computer game. That’s more than most people get. Even Ghandi didn’t get his own TV advert and computer game.
Conclusion
It's impossible to forget this castle. It's burned into our collective memory, the same way Native American Indians remember generations of racism.
Even if you've never owned the castle, or never even heard of it until just now, you'll always remember it. It will always be there, in your brain, the memory dormant but indestructible like the castle itself.
Paul Chris Jones is a writer and dad living in Girona, Spain. You can follow Paul on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.